I have clearly not been staying on top of the whole posting on the reg. So, excuse me while I try to figure out how to write again. It’s been a while, and a lot has happened. But, I’m ready to kick some ass and take names. Again.
2018 was a weird year. I didn’t travel nearly as much as I should have when I wasn’t employed full-time. After getting laid off at the beginning of 2018, I spent most of the year trying to figure out what the fuck to do with my life. I took contract gigs, freelanced and worked at bars and restaurants. It was a tumultuous year without financial and personal stability. I didn’t know when or if the next steady gig would come. I was in a weird place of transition, and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself during it. Looking back, I should have traveled, I should have worked on my goals, and I should have done many things. But, when there is so much uncertainty in your life, focusing on yourself, on your future, on your present, can be challenging!
It wasn’t all doom and gloom though. I did get to go on some fun trips, but I spent most of my time trying to figure out what’s next instead of living presently in those moments. And when I finally did start full-time employment again in November, the entirety of 2018 felt like a year of wasted potential.
What I’m coming to realize is that there’s always time for later, for the future. What you can never get back is your time now. You can never really enjoy your life if you’re always worrying about what’s next. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this post when I started it. I’m sitting here, on a noisy plane with screaming children, heading to Denver, trying to clear my head. I realize though, that I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life thinking of the “what ifs,” the “when this happens,” the “I can’t right now.” But, that’s all bullshit. It’s something I am working through as a person. I have a lot of personal baggage and things I need to work through to become the best version of myself. And let me tell you. That shit is fucking hard work.
I started seeing a therapist this year, and damn, talking about my shit is hard. But, the things that make you uncomfortable are the things that make you grow as a person, blah, blah, and so on, and so forth. It is all true, though.
Ultimately, the major takeaway here is this: Don’t let life pass you by while you’re worrying about things that don’t matter right now. Of course, you need to make plans and goals for future you, but don’t miss out on life now. Go on that trip you’ve always wanted to go on, take some time for yourself so you can reassess what’s important to you both now and in the future, or even eat that fucking cheeseburger! One won’t kill you after all. Live your best life, and don’t let the days, months, and years pass you by.
Go do something you love this week, this month - whether small or big. You will always have time to work more, to eat healthier, and to save more money. You will not always have time to enjoy your youth, your livelihood, and the company of friends and family. Live it up while you can, bitches! Love you filthy animals. And don’t forget to love yo-selves. Peace out :)
